White Introspection and Black History Month — Nashville Institute for Faith and Work

Lifting the veil

As a white woman who grew up in a very small town in the Appalachian mountains of southwestern Virginia, the trials and tribulations of my African American brothers and sisters seemed far away and frankly, I was unaware in my protected world. Perhaps you have a similar perspective based on your childhood. I can imagine many of us have history that influences how we perceive the current opportunity gaps in the United States and beyond.

I am slowly becoming more aware of the disparities in our country. This past year I have intentionally intensified self-examining myself and my heart. Jesus has been a merciful leader in this journey of discovering my thoughts, feelings and opinions.

I never considered myself a racist, prejudiced, privileged. Perhaps as a woman, I was on the receiving end of prejudice and inequity and lack of inclusion. And while this may be true, it was nothing like what I now see and understand to be my privilege. A few years ago, a program I was in provided the opportunity to visit the Nashville Jail and moved me into a different level of awareness. I had a realization that things really were different, the playing field not even. Yet, while I felt convicted and informed, I did not do much differently. It was too hard. Still, the feeling of injustice and “how could this be” remained with me.

Then, a friend and mentor introduced me to a local African American Pastor. At Cracker Barrel over breakfast, as he shared his hard-earned wisdom and experiences, the veil across my eyes lifted a little more. I told him “I’m not jumping in, I’m scared and I don’t know what to do— it’s too big. But, I am not walking away. I want to keep talking and see where God takes this.” Graciously, he agreed.

Then, this past year’s continual tragic violence against people of color captured the attention of the nation, and a greater sense of urgency rose within me. I read Be the Bridge by Latasha Morrison with a book group and invited my pastor friend to speak to us. Ultimately, that experience resulted in the two of us creating a very small Racial Justice Resource Group that started meeting in June. We are still meeting, and the group recently agreed to a mission: to change how the world sees and treats communities of color. It is a place where I am deeply challenged, convicted, and hear truths that remind me that my heart still has much to learn.

I rarely leave these meetings feeling uplifted. Rather, I leave them knowing I have so much to learn, lament, repent, confess and ask forgiveness for. In the face of this intense self-reflection, I move forward in God’s grace and with the promise of hope. I have always shied away from suffering, particularly if I could reason it out, or move on to something more rewarding (meaning in my control). Jesus is not letting me move on. He has placed within me a desire to be like Him, to love my neighbors and all that requires of me. I have no idea where this is going and I am okay with that, because He is in the lead.

I tell you all this because what I often hear from others, as I also said, is, “I don’t know what to do. It’s too big.” My desire is to encourage you to either take a first step or to keep moving forward, enter into conversations, read, have courage, and pray for God to open doors. He has blessed me with a friend who, for some reason, is willing to patiently walk with me.

I never felt the effects of my whiteness. I have felt the consequences of being a woman and all that carries, but for many years I never connected my whiteness and privilege. Now, I know that in my heart, as a white woman, I am unfairly privileged in America because of the color of my skin. It has taken me a long while to accept this, and it is a grossly unjust fact.

Taking a Step

Importantly, February is Black History Month. It is also Shrove Tuesday, Ash Wednesday and the beginning of Lent, a new season in the church calendar. You may know Shrove Tuesday as Fat Tuesday, a day of self-examination that rolls into Ash Wednesday.

Ash Wednesday is significant because it marks the start of the Lenten period leading up to Easter. The ashes, placed by some denominations, symbolize both death and repentance. During Lent, Christians show repentance and mourning for their sins, the very sins Christ died for. Lent is a time to come face to face with how we as individuals and as a people have fallen short; in other words, our great need for grace.

If you are white, perhaps this Black History Month will be a time for you to examine how you can understand more about the experience of people of color, acknowledge where you feel uncomfortable, break down some walls, and seek to know who are outsiders and insiders in your life and why. You will see from these words that I am woefully in need of further self-examination, of amending my still safe place of ignorance and denial. I do so very much need Jesus in my struggle to live out the Scriptures, to be like Him, to see the world as it is and not how I wish it to be.

I share this final prayer with you in the hope that it may speak to you and encourage you to continue doing the work of co-creating with God in pursuing a world that is just for all people made in His image.

a prayer for faithful action

Save us, O Lord, from being idle bystanders–looking on. Enliven us to attempt to understand the dilemmas of a broken world, and be willing to act. Give us compassion for the lost and confused, the weary and the oppressed, those different from me and confused like me. Save us from slick and simplistic answers to this problem, which offer words but no real help. Unsettle us, and move us on from viewing the plight of sin-scarred people, to actions that promote spiritual and inward healing and liberating forgiveness. Cleanse our lives, that they may be instruments worthy of conveying your truth of abundance, generosity, equality, inclusion, and everlasting life through Jesus Christ our Lord. We ask this in His name. Amen.

Below are a few resources that myself and our team at NIFW recommend for leaning in and learning how to engage faithfully in promoting racial justice both within and outside the walls of work: